February 24, 2010
=)
A fine day.. =)
Went out with mom today, did not attend my both class. ( mc – food poisoning ) Got myself a new work table from IKEA. =) And the next target is queen size bed for my room. Say No to single bed ! hee.. cant wait till mommy get back from China, she is leaving tomorrow and I wish that she will have fun there. =) Wrote something on Facebook ” all guys are dick suckers”, wonder why ? Cox when I start to trust someone, he make me feel miserable. All the words he said are all lies ! I never want to believe it but eventually, I was trying too .. And trust me, I was a fool. Glad that I notice it early, if not, another asshole who gonna ruin my feelings again. Lucky me ! =) Girls out there, NEVER EVER TRUST ANY GUYS ! Ops, sounds like I’m against all the guys out there. No I’m not, it’s just that, we have to be aware of them. So, I’ve learnt to be smart now. =)
Deep down, I really wants to have a fine and amusing dinner with someone who close to me ( if u think you are ). =) Thursday night there will be a drinking session at my house, to those who free gimme a text ! ( only for friends that I know ) I need a nice movie enjoy myself. And I really do need my assignment and project done !!! wee ~~
Sleeping time people, GOODnight ! teehee ..~~
Jess and I while working at PC fair 2009. =)
February 21, 2010
Chocoaffair
How’s life so far without you? I guess I’m doing well. Ups and down in college life, but well, I’m a human which have to face the fact and that’s life. J Happy O’ Day! How’s your Chinese New Year so far? Mine was awesome, went out shopping nonstop and have few awesome accompany. Miss most of them now, cause, everyone going back to their own place now. And I can’t wait to visit Sydney, visit the new places and I really looking forward the dates to fly over there. Air tickets fee is a bitch to my mom, so Pray Hard for me! J Love you guys who spent their time for me when I have ups and downs. Really appreciate it when you guys show up your love and care to me. All I know is I am not alone; you make me bright and feels like living in heaven.
Hey people, I have wonders and thought these days. Hesitating to write it all, it might make someone feel uncomfortable. I do not wish that happen, but I’m seriously thought that I’m in a wrong path now. IF there is someone tells I did the right thing it would enlighten me. Falling for someone you not suppose to? Think twice before I do any movement that will hurts anyone, its serious dragging me down. I do not want to be the selfish one because, I do believe in Karma!
February 6, 2010
A Little Update
Before I leave to stadium, I’ll do a little updates. As I’ve mention in facebook, “tired, stress, playful, excited, and enjoyable week I have”. Seriously spending my time with different kind of friends make me build up my social life and thats the basic I’m looking for. I miss you ! I admit that ! but not every time, it just cross by my mind when special dates are around the corner. Its normal for every couples that broke up, FYI I’m confuse with something. Which I can’t recall it already. I’ve to clarify something before someone misunderstand the way I portrait it. I remember clearly, I asked you “do u think we will still be together again?” your ans is “no”. Therefore, I choose give up on you. I did not really done it by 100% but its on the way there. I know you are occupied with your work and friends around you are making you happy. Mine as well, assignment is good enough to kill my time. Well oh well, I go to go ! See chubby kids swimming ? Thats the joy of life .. 
I live my life happily so do you guys out there. cheers.
p/s: the “p/s:” stops when both of us have a full stop.
February 1, 2010
If You Still Wanna Know ..
http://screamforpurple.blogspot.com/2009/10/goodbye-my-pretty-boy-your-image-had.html
http://screamforpurple.blogspot.com/2009/07/uck-feeling.html
The 2 blog post above is the feeling I’ve been hiding when I’m still with you. I thought you might know.. And now, I’m so not gonna let my tears drop because of you. Thanks for letting me go.. I’m free now ! I choose to stay with my own path now. Cheers ! For me I treat this a fine break up !
last p/s: IstillCare, cosYoumeansomethingimportnat2meb4. FRIENDS.
January 29, 2010
Yesterday
What makes today the better day? I asked myself this morning, woke up on a miserable mode. Flip my blanket to the other side, struggling to get up and face the world again. I do not know how I am going to start my day, in the end waked up from Hazel’s bark. Hazel is my second alarm, her barking is just simply loud and distract full sometimes. I do not know what colour to wear today, and so I choose dark green. Ever since Ms. Nalena want us to dress decently and be more professional so, no more shorts and slippers. Oh well, slippers is not my command in my dressing code so I can live with that but, shorts?! OMG! Trying very hard to bear with it since Malaysia is so hot and HOT! Hmm..
About yesterday, I went Glemarie to collect my IPOD cable from Bonnie (my former ex), ( hold on hold on, currently I’m sitting down outside Starbucks, meet “myfriend” –forget the name ! haha, anyway, he told me he pass by me just now and can’t recognize me and now he told me I look fatter. -.- what you want me to do? Conclusion, wrong outfit! And so ngam, I’m listening to the song, “I don’t give a fuck” hahaha ! Funny. ) talked to Bonnie for awhile which like less than 5 min. The conversation means a lot! I do not know how to describe it, it just make me feel like tears are coming out. He told me he set his Facebook status was in relationship with “someone” which is not true; he was just simply playing. I dint even notice his status, and now.. You do not need to explain to me, and when you did that you just make me feel like a fool more than anything that I could feel. You understand how I feel? Jeoy Hui ? One word for me.. GO! Go get her Bonnie, if that’s your will. I can’t do shit and I’m not like those ex gf that will take revenge on you. Or even wanna get you back. Is all come by fate and the interaction? I and you do not interact much nowadays so is alright for you to choose someone who is on your future path. And so, I couldn’t help my feelings by stopping it to cry. Parked my car at a side of the road and I started to feel my tears dropping nonstop.
Till then, I had a late brunch with Don at Pan Bakery and head back to Bukit Jelutong. While waiting for Aaron and “small” Daniel, chill at Don’s place and watch Japanese gross movie. -.-” Don is weird ! hahaha.. I stop the movie half way coz its serious makes me feel like vomiting. The whole movie is something like “saw”, if you watch that movie you should probably got the idea what I am talking here. Eeee, gross! Anyway, went to eat at 7days nearby Don’s house and I ordered “extra spicy” nasi goreng kampung. I regretted it, too spicy till I left it there half way. After dinner, went down Subang meet up with Grace (Aaron’s GF) and Azu at Silva. J Movie – The Tooth Fairy at 11.45pm. I don’t recommend you to watch it in cinema coz it’s not worthy. Hmm.. I went home straight after the movie, too tired. I slept till the next morning. J Love doing all this, coz, and my time won’t be occupied by thinking of you and how my feelings feel. I just need to do more new things.
p/s: tillnow, I’mstill.
Logging off,
I’ll be alright ! J
January 26, 2010
I can’t.
What a emotional day..
I got myself late to class today, luckily no detention from the lecturer. Set myself down once I found my place, lecturer is not teaching anything. Just roughly do a very short discussion about advertisement. Not really focus in class and got myself thinking. And so I was thinking about it through out the one hour. How would this feeling stop? Asking myself. I miss you so badly today, to the point that I really want your presences to be around me. Wore a black out fit to class – emo. I wish I would just continue with my college day with you, while you are on your working days. Everything are possible, but can this be possible too ? I had myself break down when I’m on my way back home. I cant even drive.. I had to stop myself to cry because, when you drive and cry its dangerous. It is suffering.. I wonder how can you live without me and not even think about me when we had so many things happened together before. I cant do it now.. I just cant. Have faith – says Jacqueline.
Logging off,
Carmen
p/s: thoughtIcould,ButIcantdoItnow.
January 23, 2010
Process Is Really Hard
Wello,
Yesterday night went Neway with Jynn, Eric and Hui fen. I thought I will break down when they sing emo songs. Surprisingly, I was just being emotional instead of crying my feelings out. What was that ? Get over him already ? Or just I’m too tired to cry ? Oh well, I have fun last night. It was a very random outing. ILOVE it ?
Anyway, went to Pyramid and watch movie with my lesbian partner – “Spy Next Door”. Funny movie, and Jacky Chan is getting old. His wrinkles are all coming out !! haih .. 
One day, I’ll have wrinkles too.
I thought I get over you already, but when I reach the cinema. The feelings comes, and I start to be very emotional. I miss how we use to buy tickets together, and sometimes I’ll be the one who queuing for movie tickets and you’ll buy your favorite “Taiwan Chicken XXL”. Is just all coming back at that particular moment. What can I say ? We are not together anymore.
Logging off,
Carmen. _tearsaredrynow_
January 18, 2010
The Thoughts
Live in you, it makes me realize a lot of things that I should have learn. Maybe you are right about us, giving us some space to relief our thoughts and wonder. I have done enough to please you and bear with you, maybe its time for me to find a better way to please myself instead of doing all this. I’m tired. Crying the same old wonders, all I have to wait is the feeling to be fade away. I need a very strong mind and base to keep myself not to think about you all the time. Everything seems to connects with you well, its just a hard process by letting you go. And now, I wonder how have you been ? How’s your eye brown ? Take care of your eyes, and get more sleep. There are so many things I could just ‘wish’. Drew ask me this quest, what so good about you ? And I rethink about it today, you might not treat me like a princess, but you are my ideal guy. David believe that people will change in time to come, but now, just have to bear with it. No matter, you tell me there is no hope in between us, for me, it always have. I might be a fool to take it that way, but, I’m not giving you up yet as thou time will prove everything. In this mean time, I’ll be the person that I wanna be and you will see my efforts in everything. *cross fingers – it remains as friend now*
p/s: lovestill,tillnow
January 11, 2010
where am i now ?
i’m at the lower ground now, i wish i could see star from the highest floor but i cant find my way there. the sudden break up makes me cry the whole day and all i can feel is the love that keep beeping faster and faster. i realize i have change, but deep down inside my heart I am still the one who first met u. i dunno how to accept that v are apart now, i try to stand up and be strong for myself. it turns out to be a incomplete mission. i need your presences, and for your information, you’ll never be a burden for me. i can cope with you but you cant ? baby, i really do love you. i’m crying here do u know ? one year is full of wonderful memories about me and you, and i cant bear with it if i lost to hold your hand anymore. i miss how you crack my hand, i miss how you make me smile (boo boo~), i miss how we spent our time with each other, and i miss when i serve you with a good meal. i love to have lunch with you and i do it willingly. i wish v could still be together and will see how things goes. i miss you badly. when you are back, and please don’t worry that i will disappear, because i will still care for you till now and willing to build a new memories with you again. i believe there is always a new beginning in life and i would like to be yours.
love,
‘BabyGirls’ – thats what you use to call me
January 3, 2010
Where am I about to go for 2010 ?
Finally have the mood to update my blog, hah ! Is a brand new year – 2010. For some of the people it seems to be excited, but for me, its always the same. The dates are the same, same faces maybe different hair, same celebration… Do I sound like I’m complaining again ? Hah ! Nope, I’m not. What I’m saying here is all the truth. But, for another point of view for me to look at this year. Meet some awesome people, get some new knowledge, new experience, upgrade myself to be someone who capable to do things, and new resolution. =)
Hah ! Wondering why did I have the initiative to blog now ? Just came back from Malacca ( one day trip ) which takes me to realize a lot of things. This is the second time I go Malacca and I did not get to try ‘Satay Celup’. I really hope they will have it here and Selangor or K.L. =( When I was on the way back home, through out the long road, it was dark and only a few lamp post are on. Far far away, there is a small house in the middle of the dark forest. The dark house makes me realize that there are people who dare to live in the middle of the dark and they have guts to do it ! This, it links back to the topic that I’ve a conversation to J***** the other day. She wanted to commit suicide, and the reason is because she thinks she failed her life so far. Did you have the guts to meet the death ? Did you realize how death looks like ? Life is full with challenge, no matter in relationship, education or financial. There are always have lessons to be learn. If the moment you though of committing suicide its foolish and immature ! Be strong ! =)
My holiday on the month of Nov and Dec ’09 was awesome ! Is hard for you to feel it through what I wrote here due to the problem of uploading the pictures. Will upload it on FACEBOOK. Feeling sleepy now, will be back on track. =) Cheers !
‘ HAPPY TWENTY-TEN ‘
p/s: iloveyousomuchstill!! Love your FB profile picture! I’ve booked your next minute baby.
CARMEN LIM
